Learning

A few months ago, I was struggling with some really intense feelings.

I had realized, at this point, how much my therapist meant to me. How she had been the ONE person who had been there for me through all my struggles.

The feelings were complicated. I felt ashamed… I realized that I wanted more from the therapy relationship. I didn’t want to just be her client. I wanted to be her friend. I wanted to be special. She made me feel this way…I wanted that feeling to be the truth.

Yet, I also knew that these weren’t the feelings I should be feeling. I know the boundaries that exist in a therapeutic relationship…and I knew that I was beginning to over-rely on her for emotional support.  Continue reading

A grateful heart

Last night, I got hit with a wave of emotions.

It started as I finished reading a really deep, romantic novel. Each time I read a book in this genre, I start to feel melancholy. I look at the way the book portrays romantic love, and grieve over the fact that my love looks so much different.

I stayed up entirely too late reading this book. Around midnight, I snuck upstairs and crawled into bed. I felt a little battle-worn.  Continue reading

Stillness

Yesterday, I had the most amazing experience.

I have always loved the ocean. Since I was a young child, it has been one of my happy places–a place where I feel free and joyous.

Yesterday, my love for the ocean grew. I got to experience something that has always been on my bucket list, but that, until now, I haven’t had the opportunity to do. Continue reading

Finding my center

I think I realized today that, though I am in another country, all of my baggage (both literal and figurative) arrived with me.

I am not sure what I expected… Part of me believed that I would arrive and feel like a completely different person. After all, I am in a completely different country, a completely different environment, and immersed in a completely different language. Continue reading