Mountains and Valleys

Highs and lows.

Smooth and bumpy.

That is life.

It isn’t a straight line. Continue reading

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Are we ever really healed?

Summer has started and I have quickly discovered that I do not do well with rest and relaxation. That sounds crazy, doesn’t it?

Yet, it’s true. I find small things to feel stressed over. I find ways to make myself busy. I over-analyze people and what they say.

I struggle to just sit and enjoy the quiet and the calm.

I don’t do calm well. It isn’t the norm for me. Continue reading

More Me.

I’ve been avoiding writing lately. Why? I do not know. Other than, it is always easier for me to write–or really, necessary, for me to write, when I am depressed or hurting.

And, perhaps, that it is it. I am not depressed and hurting any more.

Don’t get me wrong. My stress level as of late has been pretty incredible. There is no tired like end of the school year tired. My days have been a blur of field trips, field days, graduations, assemblies, parties, and behaviors.

It has been EXHAUSTING, and I have been in total survival mode. Continue reading

STUCK.

Where have I been?

The desire to write has been sucked out of me lately.

I don’t know if that is a good or a bad thing. Usually, if I am feeling angsty and pained, writing is my outlet. If I’m not writing, I’m probably feeling better.

…But, I don’t think that is the case.

No…instead, I think I am just stuck. Unsure of what I feel. Or if I feel.

And then, at other moments, feeling too much.  Continue reading

Daughter Detox Reflections, Part 3: How mom’s behavior shapes yours

I am continuing to read my way through Peg Streep’s book, Daughter Detox. Chapter 4 deals not with how your mother treated you, but how you responded to the way she treated you.

If you have spent any amount of time around children, you probably know that children can react to the same incident in many different ways. The same is true, after all, for adults.

As a teacher, I see it all the time–we have the students who are externalizers–they are the ones that act out. They might act out in many different ways–yelling, screaming, throwing, running around…this type of acting out is pretty familiar to most people. We see it and we hear about it often.

Then, we have students who are internalizers. They get quiet. They withdraw. They hold everything that is hurting them, or scaring them, deep inside.

What child were you?  Continue reading