Highs and lows

The last week and a half has been strange.

I’ve been struggling, no doubt. Continue reading

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Nothing is as heavy as shame

shame, as we heal, we can replace shame with compassion for ourselves and for what happened to us.My heart has been heavy lately with so many big emotions. I have been sensitive to the slightest changes in tone, behavior, action, and gesture.

I have done better with this fall-down than I have in years past–I am using my supports in better ways and I am aware of my most harmful patterns of thinking.

But. One thing just trips me up, over and over again.

Shame.  Continue reading

A new chapter

I took a magnificent trip this summer.

It was not without its own difficulties. It was my first time leaving the country. My first time leaving my family for more than two or three days.

There were a lot of firsts.

I did not know how I would handle this trip. The growing, healing part of myself was ready to take this adventure head on. To prove to myself that I could.

The scared, anxious part of myself was worried. The What ifs?? were loud and present.

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I want.

I came home from my therapy appointment today and curled up in a cocoon. Wrapped in a warm, fuzzy blanket, I lay on the couch, staring out the window…paralyzed by a brain that thinks, and thinks, and thinks.

I. am. SO. Frustrated.

I want to move. I want to grow. I want to bust out of the funk that I have been trapped in for months and months.

Continue reading