Worry and Stress. Stress and Worry.

I have had one hell of a…month?

Maybe a year?

However long it has been, I have been especially worried and especially stressed.

This weekend, my husband and I took a trip away. It was nice. We have been able to focus just on us. Lately, there has been a lot of static around our relationship…a lot of focus on what I am going to do, what I want, and why. Continue reading

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It’s easier to hurt than to heal.

A funny thing has happened to me.

For years–my whole life, really–I kept all of my secrets. I rarely talked about what my childhood was like, or how hard it felt. When I did, I framed it in terms of my resilience…as in, Hey! All these things happened to me, but I turned  out okay. 

It wasn’t until almost two years ago (in three months I will have been in therapy for TWO YEARS…wow.), that I started to acknowledge things.  Continue reading

Where did I lose my worth?

I had coffee after work yesterday with my priest.

He is my priest, but he is also my friend. His wife is one of the important people in my life…a supporter, a role model, a real friend.

The boundaries are fuzzy…but suffice it to say that I have a deep love for my friend and her family…including her husband, who also happens to be the person who helps me navigate aspects of my spiritual life.

Continue reading

A mighty struggle

Since I started teaching in August, I have been tackling a lot of triggers.It has felt very multifaceted…

It is related to the school where I am teaching–one that I actually attended as a child. It is related to what I went through. It is related to who I felt supported by–teachers–always teachers. It is also related to who I am teaching now, and how much I am able to help and support them.

Let me give you a hint…for my struggling students, the ones who remind me of me? Or the ones that have it way worse than I ever had it?

…I am never able to help them enough.

And that hurts my heart. Continue reading