All the big feelings.

I can’t feel anything small.

For the last month or so, right on track for the last two years, I have been hit with the winter blues.

Or, I don’t know, perhaps it is something more.

It’s that deep, dark hole.

The one where I stand at the bottom, looking up at the light, unable to climb out on my own.  Continue reading

Silence, Shame, and Struggling

Silence…shame…and struggling.

That is how I can describe my days lately.

Things at home? Things at home have been better. My husband is trying so hard. I have torn down my walls and let him in. I am letting him hold me. I am asking him to kiss me deeply. I am trying to feel the connection and love between us.

I am trying. I owe him that, after building a life with him for the last 12 years. I owe him one more chance.

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