Home, Sweet Home. <3

After half a month away, I am finally back at home.

The day that I boarded the plane to go home, I was so antsy. The flight, the layover, the second flight–all of it could not go fast enough. As soon as we touched down on US soil, I was ready to cry…

Gosh, it felt wonderful to be back home. Continue reading

Adventure Awaits

Bright and early tomorrow morning, I am embarking on a huge adventure.

This trip–more than two weeks away in a tropical, foreign country–represents so much more than just a vacation.

You see, this is a trip I am taking alone. With a group of people, yes, but with a group of mostly strangers.

This is a trip that is about MEContinue reading

Pause.

Relapse.

That is how the last few months have felt.I had a hell of a start–I pummeled into a dark, scary spot, and literally had to be dragged back out by myself, my therapist, my husband, and some handy-dandy anti-anxiety drugs. Slowly, slowly, growth started happening…I would dip down, and come back up. Then, one day…BAM! I felt better. I realized I was worth it.

I felt like me. Or, at least, the ME I want to be. Continue reading

What growth takes…

It has been an absolutely intense week. Panic attacks and anxiety reared their heads again. Life was messy and hard. Insomnia has been visiting. It has felt like the perfect storm.

ad6632260248e5df19a1aa1c5c55ab90When I had an anxiety attack on Friday, I was immediately transported back to the beginning of this hard journey–of myself, sitting on the bathroom floor, seeing no end to this feeling of uncontrollable panic and fear. It hit me like a train, as it does, and I immediately felt a sense of grief and fear and despair. I didn’t want to be back there. Continue reading