A mighty struggle

Since I started teaching in August, I have been tackling a lot of triggers.It has felt very multifaceted…

It is related to the school where I am teaching–one that I actually attended as a child. It is related to what I went through. It is related to who I felt supported by–teachers–always teachers. It is also related to who I am teaching now, and how much I am able to help and support them.

Let me give you a hint…for my struggling students, the ones who remind me of me? Or the ones that have it way worse than I ever had it?

…I am never able to help them enough.

And that hurts my heart. Continue reading

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Pause.

Relapse.

That is how the last few months have felt.I had a hell of a start–I pummeled into a dark, scary spot, and literally had to be dragged back out by myself, my therapist, my husband, and some handy-dandy anti-anxiety drugs. Slowly, slowly, growth started happening…I would dip down, and come back up. Then, one day…BAM! I felt better. I realized I was worth it.

I felt like me. Or, at least, the ME I want to be. Continue reading