It’s 2018, ya’ll!
On December 31, 2016, I was cursing the end of a hell of a year. I was ready to kick it to the curb and embrace 2017–I had just turned 30, I was going to go on an amazing trip in May…this was going to be MY. YEAR.
I’m always an idealist.
Truth was, 2017 was still hard. In different ways. But, painful ways.
I continued to grow. I continued to learn more about myself…yet remained fixed in the pain and unable to let it go. I made mistakes, questioned my relationships, and struggled with who I was versus who I wanted to be.
2018 will be a year where I am much more realistic.
Guess what? I am not perfect.
But guess what else? I know this. I also know that I do NOT have to have everything all figured out RIGHT NOW. I can take my time. I can just be in the NOW.
First up on my 2018 agenda?? Learning to get over the wounds of my childhood. The wounds that run so deep, and are related–so much so–to my mother and our relationship.
I am going to learn how to believe that I am lovable.
To start, I purchased and have begun reading a new book, called Daughter Detox: Recovering from an Unloving Mother and Reclaiming Your Life by Peg Streep.
As I read this book, I am continually surprised at how RIGHT ON the descriptions are. Like, literally, I can pick myself right off the page…I am reading the text and think, Oh my god…that is SO me.
It is both sobering and refreshing.
As I read, I am going to use my blog as a journal–reflecting on what I am learning and processing my way through the pages…and by the end, I hope that I will finally be able to let the pain go. Continue reading