I have not been a religious person over the last ten years, nor did I have a very religious upbringing. I fell into a crowd of religious teens during my teenage years, but swiftly denounced much of that after witnessing what I felt was a lot of hypocrisy and hate. Plus, I went to college, and became “too smart for that.”
I’m learning my journey back to religion isn’t very unique. No…many, many people follow a similar path and, when they find that they can no longer walk the hard journey of life alone, they seek something more.
That is what I did. About 6 months ago, in the midst of yet more struggles, I decided I needed to try giving some of my pain–my hardship–to someone bigger than myself. Someone who could, I hoped, give me some comfort. Continue reading
This weekend, I felt something I have not felt in a long time.
It sounds bad to even say it aloud. I don’t think I even realized how much it was missing until the feeling bubbled up in my soul again. Continue reading
…okay, from my title, we all know I tend to exaggerate.
School started again a little less than two weeks ago. I am entering my final year of my teacher prep program, and this semester means that I am required to be in class 4 nights a week until 9 pm. It is a full load of classes with a cohort group, and each class is compressed into a week to two weeks. So, it is a lot of deadlines, full days, and stress. Continue reading
The thing about my anxiety, and maybe ALL anxiety, is that it can always come back.
I have been feeling amazing over the last few months–feeling NORMAL (whatever the hell that means). This last week though, for whatever reason, I have suddenly found myself feeling random bouts of panic and anxiety. Continue reading
Every day, I feel my mind and my heart getting stronger. Every day, I realize that I am on a path to finding “me” and, finally, I have begun to enjoy this journey.
One thing I did not consider, however, is the way my relationships would change because I have begun this journey. During therapy, my own family dysfunction has glared at me, and I have learned how to stare it down…and, believe it or not, I feel like I am winning.
No matter who you are, parenting is simultaneously magical and wonderful and terrifying and worrying. As a mother of two, the minute my first baby, a girl, was laid on my chest after delivery, I was immediately enraptured by this perfect and beautiful little thing that I grew.
I was confident, despite being only 22. I had done my homework and I had many idealized visions of what parenting and motherhood would look like. Continue reading
I have a confession to make…I am not good at being calm and quiet. I am so used to living with a certain amount of stress and anxiety in my life that, as I have gotten better at managing these things, I am realizing I no longer know what to do with myself when it is calm. When it is quiet. Continue reading