For the best

It’s for the best, they say.

As if it is simple.

That easy to believe.

Say it, and it is true.

But.

It is not that simple.

It is not that simple because I feel.

I feel confused. I feel battered and broken. I feel unlovable, and stupid, and betrayed.

I feel worried.

Worried that I have no value. Worried that none of it meant a thing. Worried that I will be abandoned by the people I love.

I feel guilt.

Guilt over my mistake.

I feel shame.

Shame that I am human. Shame that I care. Shame that I am confused. Shame that it hurts.

It may be for the best, I say.

But it is not that simple.

It is not that easy to believe.

I? I am heartbroken, for many reasons. In pain, for many reasons.

Many of my own doing…but…nothing about it is easy.

Nothing.

Even if it is for the best.