Struggling is my new norm. It isn’t getting better.
I’m not okay and it is messy and I do feel broken.
So…what do I need?
I feel so utterly alone in this journey most of the time…what would help? I feel better during my hour+ in my counselor’s office…but after I leave?
I am alone. And I am struggling. I don’t know how to survive the crushing loneliness of all of it right now.
I need to feel like someone supports me.
I need to feel like someone cares.
I need to feel understood.
I need to be able to cry, and stomp my feet, and just succumb to the unfairness of it all…with someone who cares and understands.
I need to talk. I need to get the words out.
I need to be listened to–like, really listened to. I need to hear validation and empathy–and, maybe, I need to hear that someone is on my side, fighting for me.
I need someone. Someone who can just look at me and know that I am not okay. Someone who I don’t have to explain it all to…who just knows. Someone who can give me a hug and let me cry and help me feel like the struggling human being that I am…instead of the small, insignificant person that I feel like.
I need someone who is always there. Someone who won’t leave. Someone who genuinely likes and cares for me. Someone who finds me easy to love.
Someone who actually wants me, and wants to be in my life.
I need connection. To feel like a real person. To feel loved and cherished and valued.
To feel heard.
That is what I need.